Friday, August 14, 2015

7 things that mystify/terrify me about having a second child.

linking up with Kelly for some quick takes


Baby no. 2 is coming in less than two months and it's really starting to set in. We are going to have two kids. All this time we've only had one kid, and we've gotten pretty used to having one kids. And while I'm mostly pretty over the moon excited about the arrival of our baby girl and so looking forward to all the new born snuggles coming my way, sometimes I get a little freaked out about a few things. So now I am here by soliciting the advise of wiser, more experienced mamas.

1. How do you get two kids to nap AT THE SAME TIME? I know it happens because I've heard other moms talk about it. Everyone naps at the same time and then mom gets a nice little hour of solitude. I'm looking for practical stuff here. Do you put the toddler down first and let the baby sit in a bouncy seat and cry? Or do your get the baby down while the toddler is running wild and getting into who knows what? Or have you figured out how to be in two places at once?

2. When the new baby comes and is nursing does the older baby (now toddler) ever want to start nursing again? Johnny was such a strong nurser until I became pregnant and my supply went away. Then he weaned very easily. I wonder if he will remember nursing and get jealous of the new baby? Or do 2-year-olds not remember stuff like that?

3. Cloth diapering mamas, are you just doing laundry all the time? Because of all of Johnny's GI stuff he poops a lot and we wash diapers basically every other day. I'm trying to anticipate the volume of dirty diapers once a newborn enters into the equation. Which brings me to my next question...

Johnny is doing a diaper change on his zebra.
4. Do you put your newborns into cloth diapers right away? Can they really be folded and snapped up small enough for a little tiny newborn bum? We really have no experience with cloth diapering a new born. We used disposables with Johnny for about the first three months, then when we did work up the courage to break out the cloth diapers we were only changing wet ones because Johnny had his colostomy bag until he was 8 months old. Changing a colostomy bag on a new born? No sweat! But changing tiny newborn poopy diapers? This will be new territory for me.

5. How on earth do you get out to the car? It takes me about 15-20 minutes to leave the house with Johnny. Does it get easier with each kid you add? Or do you just add on more time? Ten more minutes for each additional child?

6. Grocery shopping.  I don't even want to think about it. A couple of my girlfriends use a delivery service when things are rough.  Maybe that will be our M.O. for the first few months.

7. How do you ever love that new baby as much as you love your first baby? Sometimes when Johnny is sleeping I just sit by his bed and look at his beautiful face and think there is no way I could love anyone the way I love him. We have been through so much with him. Lord willing, we will never have to go through that with another baby again. But it's created such a bond between us, not to mention Johnny is the one that first made me a mother.  I've heard my friends say things like "the heart makes room," and "You just love your new baby so much, and it makes you love your other kids in a new way." I think they must be right, and it two short (hopefully) months I will be finding out for myself.

Ok, all the sage, motherly advice you possess, ready, set, go!


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  1. I'm still figuring out the sleep stuff. We've had so much help that I haven't had to figure it out yet and I'm scared.

    But I can comment on the cloth diapering stuff. If you do cloth diaper a newborn you really do need newborn sized cloth diapers. The one size adjustable ones just don't work as well for the newborn shape. I would either get some newborn prefolds and covers or use disposables for a while. And as far as washing goes, we throw them all into the same bin and wash them together.

    I wouldn't even bother with the grocery store. I either send someone else, or have someone watch the toddler and I take the infant with me. The two times I attempted it with both boys alone it was total chaos and just not worth it.

    1. Remember how you didn't know you could love someone this much until you met Johnny? Same thing with this baby. You just do, but you won't really understand until you meet her.

  2. I can't comment on the rest, but I'd recommend using disposables for a month or two - give yourself a break to get used to it all and then work the extra laundry into the mix. =)

  3. Honest-to-goodness, great questions...many I pondered before my second arrived. Simultaneous napping WILL happen, just not right away. Fortunately, newborns can sleep through a lot and will while older siblings are running amok all over the house. But as they get older and begin to have more regular napping schedules, the afternoon nap will often coincide with the toddler's. If I'm trying to get them down at the same time, I try to have them in separate rooms. Toddler down with a song and back rub while holding the baby, then baby down. But I think some of these things figure themselves out as you find what techniques work and don't work for your children.

    These questions are always so daunting when you are facing them in the abstract, but they DO work themselves out! I promise! :) Many prayers for you as you wait to meet your newest babe!

  4. For napping, try to keep your expectations low at first (actually, that applies to everything the first three months!). If the baby was tired, I'd put her down first, otherwise I'd hold her, lay her on the floor, or stick her in the bouncy seat while I tucked in the toddler. I guess it was just a judgment call... sometimes one of them will be crying while you're busy, but it won't hurt them, even if they don't like it. With each kid, we've shortened the bed/nap routine so it doesn't take forever, which helps, too. For diapering, I've never had two in cloth at the same time, but I'd suggest doing disposables for awhile, until the new baby is big enough for your cloth ones and just to give yourself some time to ease into everything. For getting out to the car, you just plan on it taking more time and try to have as much done ahead as possible–make sure your diaper bag is packed early, know where shoes and coats are before you're late and scrambling to find them. Grocery shopping: we go over the rules each time (older kids have a hand on the cart or Mommy, no touching, etc) and if they're misbehaving too much, we just leave (and they know it). If I have to, I'll go by myself in the evening or ask my husband to pick up something on the way home if I need something soon. Sometimes I'll wear the baby, too, if I think she'll do better in the store that way. I promise you'll figure everything out! If you want more details of how I actually do things, shoot me an email–I totally understand just wanting to literally know how to do everything, not just "do it" like everyone says.

    You really will love this baby just as much as Johnny, just like Jacqui said above.

    1. Keeping expectations low, that is something I have been practicing during this pregnancy. I'm hoping I can do it well by the time this baby comes. Thanks for the great tips!

  5. I follow you on Instagram and just realized that this is your blog (through Blessed is She!) I'm @megnewhall. My babies are 22 months apart, and it was certainly hard at first, having two in diapers, etc. What we did was just put the toddler down for his noon nap (his routine consists of two stories, a glass of milk, turning out the light and getting tucked in with his little dolls) and then I'd go nurse the baby in our bed and usually take a nap myself! Now that Baby is a year old, we have (just in the last week or so) gotten him to go down for a nap all by himself at the same time that Big Brother is napping. It. Is. A. Mazing.
    Cloth diapering has been hard for me with two. I was a dedicated cloth-diaperer with one baby, but we certainly took a lot of "breaks" with disposables this time around.
    As far as getting out to the car, it gets easier, it really does. Now that Walter is nearly 3, he can run out to the car and get in his seat all by himself, and I carry Owen out and buckle them both in. In fact, car rides are much more pleasant now that they can sit in the back and laugh together.
    And for the last question....I guess I expected Owen would be born and I would suddenly realize a deep bond with him. But not really...I mean I loved him and I cared for him, but at least for me) it really did take some time to form that bond! I've heard new babies called "The Intimate Stranger" and it's true--you have to get to know them. But the heart grows, and there is more love than ever before for both babies. :) I couldn't imagine a life without my little Owen now! He's my joy.
    Wishing you a smooth and easy birth!! <3

    1. Margaret! (Meg?) Thanks so much for saying hi! I love your Instagram feed and was actually recently creeping on you a little to try to figure out if you were still blogging.

      And thank you for all the lovely advice. So great to hear from mamas who have been there and done that.

    2. Aw, thanks, Anna! I wish I were a better blogger but I'm terribly undisciplined. Perhaps someday I'll record this busy life. 😉❤️


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