Our breastfeeding relationship, which had a rocky start in the NICU, was so strong and beautiful, and at many times intense. I had mixed emotions as I thought about what it would be like to have Johnny weaned. Some days feelings of exhaustion and being touched-out had me yearning for the day when my body could be my own again, and when I didn't have to be the human pacifier for the baby who would take no other form of comfort. Others days I craved the still moments nursing gave me with my otherwise constantly-in-motion tot.
Throughout breastfeeding Johnny I have always used my instincts. I knew it was time to begin night weaning him when sleep deprivation had me constantly melting down in tears. I knew it was the right thing to do when night weaning resulted in Johnny sleeping through the night for the first time ever.
For breastfeeding the rest of the time I felt strongly that Johnny should stop when he was ready to stop. When I became pregnant in January and Johnny showed no signs of wanting to stop I became a little nervous that I would end up tandem nursing. But I had seen women do it before, and if I had to do it, I figured I would.
But little by little, on his own terms, Johnny began asking for "milkies" less and less. Until it was only before nap and bed time.
Then this week, when it was time for nap, he laid down in his bed, held my hands, and then closed his eyes. And that was all he needed.
And just like that, my baby is weaned.
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