Wednesday, April 6, 2016

long days & short years.

This weekend I took the kids over to my parents house so that Alex could have a few quiet hours of  study, and also to give us something to do. My dad walked us down to the park by their house and we took turns holding Trixie and chasing Johnny.


While we were there a couple from the neighborhood, acquaintances of my parents, showed up with their own kids. My dad introduced us and because we both have young children we instantly had a million things to talk about. I mentioned that my husband has been in school for as long as we have been parents, that we have a little less than two years left, and that hopefully that time goes by quickly. One of other parents made the comment that in life with little kids the days are long, but the years are short.

My days this week have been very long. I'm taking my spring break. And by spring break I mean that I'm not teaching any piano lessons for a week. We're not going anywhere, and with temperatures in the 30's and snow flurries dotting the sky outside it certainly doesn't feel like spring. I don't have my usual babysitters and teaching time and so I feel even more cooped up than usual. It is very nice to not have to worry about making sure I have clean clothes on, and getting dinner ready before lunch time. But I wouldn't really call it a break. Just a change to my days. My very long days.


I'm having a little bit of trouble seeing the forest for the trees right now. I am trying so desperately to just make it through each day, because each day I make it through is one day closer to when Alex will be done with school. When I won't have to get kids ready for bed by myself, when we will be able to go on dates and do fun stuff as a family on the weekends, when I will get to pursue my hobbies a bit more. It feels like we're waiting for our life to start, that right now isn't our real life but some interim life, and each day checked off is just one day closer.

But actually, this- these very long, often very hard days- this is life. Sure, Trixie is teething and super fussy and needs to be held all day. And sure, Johnny pooped six times and threw a tantrum about every single food I tried to feed him. But he also gave Trixie about a dozen kisses this morning, and makes her laugh all the time. It's chaos, but it's also sweet. All this sweet chaos, this is my life, my mission, and my vocation, and if all I'm doing is trying to just get through it, I will miss it. And there's so much I don't want to miss right now.

Oh, and if it seems like I'm giving myself a lot of pep talks these days, it's because I am.

(Less than two years. I can do this.)


3 comments:

  1. "The days are long and the years are short" was the motto I found so poignant I had it tattooed to my phone! But then I got a new phone and "Offer it up" became tattooed there instead. ;) All good truth. (Including the pep talk.)

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  2. I remember being in your shoes, or similar. My husband had exams to take after college and he had to study even more than school. Once he finished those he went on for his master's degree. It's exhausting parenting without them around, and lonely. But you'll look back and (hopefully) think it's worth it - I do. Hugs and prayers.

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  3. You totally can and are doing it. I couldn't be as stoic as you have been. You're amazing.

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