Thursday, October 1, 2015

on waiting

Last weekend we had a once in a generation occurrence of a total lunar eclipse. The nice thing about it was you didn't have to be up in the wee small hours of the morning to see it. Alex and I put Johnny down for bed as usual, then stepped out onto our side walk to see the shadow of our own earth just beginning to creep across the moon. We checked on it again about an hour later and saw the almost complete eclipse.


I was hoping that all this lunar activity would send my body into labor.  You always hear about women going into labor when there are crazy storms, and full moons.  Well, I guess I'm not one of those women. Nothing happened. I'm still here in my ever increasing state of discomfort.

The lunar eclipse made me realize though, I'm really just in the waiting phase now. Yes, technically a week until my due date, but it could be any time and I just have to be ready.

As I play this waiting game I've been thinking a lot about my days as a music major. When I was preparing my junior piano recital my teacher told me giving a recital was a lot like having a baby. The whole thing takes about 9 months to prepare. At first it seems so far off, like it will never come. As the event gets closer you begin to feel more uncomfortable, physically, mentally, whichever. And then those last few weeks are just agonizing, it's all your can think about. You're dreading it, but at the same time you can't wait to get it over with.  Giving the recital itself is just a blur and a whirlwind and before you know it it's over and you're not really sure how it happened.

As of now I have more experience giving recitals than I do having babies. But if there's anything learning and memorizing 45 minutes of music has taught me it's that the body has muscle memory. You've put in the time and you've prepared, and at some point you just have to trust yourself and trust that things will fall into place.

Even though my experience birthing Johnny is kind of a big dark blur, my body has done this before and my body will do it again. I'm actually beginning to get kind of excited about working with my body to make this delivery happen. I'm excited to meet our baby, I'm excited to nurse a newborn again.  I'm really excited to enjoy a big old glass of wine and sleep on my stomach too.

But until then, I'm just here. Waiting.


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1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad to have "met" you and found your blog. Lovely posts, and good luck with the end of pregnancy! The waiting is so hard.

    ReplyDelete

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