It began Saturday night when I came down with the flu. I've only been sick one other time since Johnny has been born (which is remarkable to me considering how sleep-deprived I have been for, well, almost a year now) and it is not fun being sick with a baby. It's not fun being sick any time, but it's really not fun being sick with a baby.
When you are sick without a baby, you just call in to work and say "I'm sick" and then you make yourself some tea, and go to bed.
When you are sick with a baby you still have to do all the things for your baby that you'd be doing when you're not sick.
Thankfully the worst part of my bug was over the weekend so Alex was home to help with Johnny and ensure that I slept in and got a couple of naps and hot baths.
Speaking of hot baths, Monday evening after dinner Alex said he would take some time out from studying so I could go take a hot bath. I was soooo looking forward to some peace and quiet. I got my hot water ready with some essential oils in it. I got the iPad ready so that I could continue watching The Paradise on Netflix. (recommended to me recently by a friend. It's delightful! It's Downton Abbey meets Mad Men. Check it out.) And just as I'm getting ready to hop in, Alex comes in the bathroom with a cranky Johnny who needs a clean diaper. Changing the dirty diaper revealed some sore little baby butt-cheeks so Alex (who is a great daddy and so attentive to our sweet boy) announced that he would give Johnny sink a sink-bath while I was taking my tub-bath. (yes, we're close like that.) Would he like to just give Johnny a quick bath in the tub? I can wait til they're done to have my bath? No, says he, it's fine, we can all go at the same time......
Well, I think every mama out there agrees that a relaxing bath isn't a relaxing bath if your baby is in the same room as you fussing and crying. Ten minutes into this tandem bathing experiment I am snapping like the irritable, impatient person I try not to be.
Then this happened....
|How does it know EXACTLY when the rain will start?|
Every. Single. Day
Not only is this chilly, dreary, rainy weather totally and completely soul-crushing, but it does this weird thing to Alex's car- it prevents it from starting. We've taken it to the mechanic before when this has happened and they can offer no explanation. (Any mechanics reading this? Any thoughts?) The result is that Alex has been taking my car to work all week, and Johnny and I have been stranded at home. Which was fine Monday and Tuesday as I was still feeling too sick to want to go anywhere. But now it's Thursday and 5 days of not leaving the house, save to get the mail, it starting to take it's toll. (Kind of like it did this time!)
Then the icing on this sick-rainy-home-bound cake is that Johnny has had a terrible week of napping. He's always been a bad napper, but this week it has been extra special. I'm talking about only snoozing while he nurses and then as soon as I attempt to lay him down, or shift a little so I can lay down with him, we wakes up and he's ready to go again.
Today was the breaking point. Johnny slept for a grand total of 10 minutes and nothing I tried could get him to go back to sleep, and all I wanted was a little time to myself. I allowed myself to cry it out once; one tearful phone conversation with Alex. After that every cup of coffee knocked off the desk, every tiny fist pulling my hair, every baby climbing up on the toilet while I'm trying to rinse out a dirty diaper I would meet with a smile and a (somewhat desperate) laugh. And further more, I was going to get dressed, in something nice and springy, and put on earrings and put on make up and pretend like it was a nice day out. We even went for a short walk in the rain and I think the fresh air was just what Johnny needed because after that he took a 45 minute nap! Hallelujah!
While writing this up I received an update on a friend-of-a-friends baby who was born with a very serious and very rare birth defect and will probably not live to see a first birthday. My heart ached as I read the update and I almost deleted this entire post because it seemed so ridiculous to be complaining about my "bad" week when this family is going though such a devastating circumstance. I'd like to say that everything we went through with Johnny has taught me to never take my time with him for granted. But to be perfectly honest there are many days that I take for granted how well Johnny is doing, and the great health he is enjoying now, and the fact that we will get to see him grow up! Any "bad" day or even week that we have is nothing compared to what it could be, and should be counted as a joy along our journey.
So here's to seeing silver linings, and finding joy in all things, counting my blessings, and being better tomorrow. And if you are reading this, please lift up that sweet family in prayer.